Prince Charles was caught in the nude by the paparazzi. What did his photo
prove when it came out in the papers?
THAT NOT ALL RULERS HAVE 12 INCHES!

Q: Ano ang mas mabigat? Ang ari ng lalaki or kabayo?
A: Ari ng lalaki! Kasi hinahawakan pa ito tuwing iihi sila e yung
kabayo hindi.

Q: For girls - what is the difference between a lollipop and a penis?
A: A lollipop, the more the girl suck it the smaller it gets while a penis
the more the girl suck it the bigger it gets!
Q: How do you compare a man's dick with a car?
A: 1 - It feels good when its fast, 2 - Its smooth when lubricated and 3 -
Its useless when its flat!

Man's 26 useless parts:
20 - Nails that can't be hammered,
1 - Adam's apple that can't be eaten,
2 - Breasts that can't give milk,
2 - Balls that can't be dribbled, and
A COCK that doesn't crow!

Q: Ano ang difference ng bading at cannibal?
A: And cannibal kumakain ng ka-uri while ang bading kumakain ng ka-ari!
Q: Bakit mas mahal ang sperm donation kesa sa blood donation?
A: Kasi HANDMADE!
Q: Why is a penis like a bee?
A: Because it travels from one flower to another!

At a strip joint, a girl wearing only g-string dances on stage.
A JAPANESE hooks $50 on girls panty. Then an AMERICAN hooks $100
also. Suddenly a FILIPINO takes out a Credit Card and swipes it through
the girl's butt!

Q: Why is Valentines called SILENT NEW YEAR?
A: Because marahil maraming puputok pero hindi naman maririnig!
Q: What is the difference between PRINGLES and CONDOM?
A: Pringles, once you pop you can't stop while Condom, once you pop you
have
to stop!
Q: Anong similarity of sperm sa mayonase?
A: Pareho silang galing ITLOG at parehong LADIES CHOICE!

A couple are thinking on how they can check their daughter if she's having
sex already:
MA: Paano kaya nating malalaman kung nakikipag sex ang anak natin?
PA: Alam ko na, lagyan nating ng PALAY ang FIFI niya! Pag naging
bigas ibig sabihin may BUMABAYO!

Heads of states having dinner with their wives:
Bill to Hillary: Please pass the sugar, sweetheart.
Blair to Mrs: Please pass the honey, hon.
ERAP to LOI: Please pass the pork, PORKYPIG.

Q: How are a woman and a frying pan similar?
A: You have to get both of them HOT before you put the MEAT IN!

T: Paano mo kukunin and eggwhite na di binabasag ang itlog?
S: MASTURBATE!

Q: Bakit walang bulaklak ang brief ng mga lalake?
A: Kasi may nakatirik ng kandila.

May nag-aaway na mag-asawa:
B: Gago ka!
L: Gago ka rin!
B: Walang hiya ka!
L: Mas walang hiya ka!
B: Taran.. ka!
L: Taran... ka rin!
B: Pu.... mo!
L: Pu.... mo rin!
B: Supot!
L: ...........

May genie si Erap
G: Mag-wish ka.
E: Lagyan mo lahat ng flyovers ang buong Pilipinas. Ito ang mapa.
G: Mahirap yata yan. Ibang wish na lang.
E: Gawin mo akong matalino.
G: Nasaan na yung mapa?

A 70 year old man sadly looked at his dick and said :
"We were born together, grew up together, we have been through lots
of happy moments together, Now, why do you have to die ahead of me?"

Boy: Dad, I broke my glasses when I kissed my girlfriend.
Dad: How can that happen, son?
Boy: Dad, she closed her legs.

Code for sex is HAMBURGER.
Anak: "Mommy, pasensiya ka na at ngayon lang kami umuwi ni honey dahil
nag-HAMBURGER pa kami eh."
Mommy : "Oo nga eh, pansin ko nga may mayonnaise ka pa sa labi."